Yes, we have a leak. Oh happy day! Last week on Wednesday when it was pouring down rain outside, it started raining in the house too. I had a ton of laundry to catch up on and we were still recovering from a family run-in with the stomach flu and my house looked like it threw up on itself. To make matters worse, I was just headed out the door to an enrichment group activity, so leaving with the roof leaking made me feel terrible. Moreover, seeing the rain dripping on my daughter's head filled me with gut sinking fear and dread. We can't afford this right now.
I have been stressed out lately with housework and my inability to keep up with it and my struggle to be a good mom to an autistic 3 year old boy. So, just yesterday I hired a friend's cleaning lady to come and help me put back together my broken house. I thought I was making some progress. I actually saw light at the end of the tunnel. I knew we were going to have to sacrifice things to afford her.
But, now with the home owner's insurance policy deductible we have to pay, I'm not sure what to do! My thought is that maybe we just could give up eating the rest of the month. That sure would simplify things. Along that same thought, can I give up sleeping for a while to get all the stuff that needs to be done finished? Wouldn't that be nice if we all could do that without the risk of becoming the embodiment of the word that rhymes with witches? I would truly appreciate that superhero ability. But, alas I cannot risk it without surrendering my tenuous hold on sanity.
The pressure on my family has been tremendous. In the last few months, we haven't held up very well. Like my doctor told me yesterday, there are times you are going to break down. It's OK. I have been having some hip/lower back pain that is pretty painful. I've put it off now for 3 months. The last thing I want to do is sit and wait for a doctor to see me when I have so many things that await my attention. But, yesterday, I finally did it. I made the appointment and went. Now, I'm going to have a ton of blood drawn for a work up and have x-rays of my hip. I hope it isn't anything too serious. I have heard that some of my family members suffer from Fibromyalgia and arthritis. I can't even think about that right now. It's just too much.
So right now they guy contracted by our homeowner's insurance company is sawing away at the wet drywall in my ceiling and in the wall of the livingroom. So, the first thing you see as you come into my house is not only the crazy clutter that we live with but bare seams, studs (the wall kind), exposed drywall and the fans and dehumidifiers. Hopefully I can get the young ones to leave them alone.
I am extremely grateful to have insurance. I am grateful that they are doing what needs to be done to prevent the growth of mold. Yes, eventually my house will be put back together. It just is challenging when we get all these "blessings" and "opportunities for growth" at the same time!
So, I will take a deep breath and be grateful for the simple things like naps, the internet and photography and blogging. I am grateful for my wonderful daughter's help. I am grateful for the boys as well, but that gratitude comes and goes depending on their behavior and who they happen to be slugging it out with!